A clean sheet in the "rain": two touchdowns, four completions, and a Master Chef who stole every re-roll in the building.
On air Cabalvision match report
With Jim Johnson and Bob Bifford
JIMWelcome back to Cabalvision, sports fans! They billed this one as a rain-soaked slugfest at the Regulatory Bowl, and then, wouldn't you know it, the clouds parted on BOTH kickoffs!
BOBWeather magic, Jim! Rain in the forecast, sunshine on the whistle. Perfect conditions twice in a row. Somebody in that Bretonnian dugout's been praying to the right Grail, I'll tell ya.
JIMA total nonfactor, Bob! Dry ball, dry pitch, and the Holy Hand Grenadiers took full advantage: a clean, clinical two-nil over the Oak City Lucharitos!
BOBCLEAN?! Don't you DARE use that word in my booth. Where's the DEATH? I clocked in for carnage!
JIMOh, there was ONE, Bob. Alison De Belloy drove a Grail-gauntlet clean through Clothair Mugwort. Badly hurt, carried off, another halfling folded up like a wet napkin!
BOBHA! And here's the kicker, Jim. The Grenadiers had an APOTHECARY on the bench, wallet open, ready to patch up their own... and never used him! Didn't need to! Not a scratch worth mending all match!
JIMA quiet day for the medical staff, and a GREAT day for the accountant! You have to talk about the catering war, Bob. The Lucharitos brought their notorious Master Chef, and he swiped re-roll after re-roll right out of the Bretonnian dugout!
BOBAnd then they BURNED every one on GARBAGE, Jim! Stole the dice fair and square (perfect conditions, mind you, no excuses), then chucked the ball straight into the turf three times running! That's not a strategy, that's a comedy act!
JIMButterfingers, plain and simple. Meanwhile the Grenadiers kept it tidy. Amynta the Ice Preserver punched in the opener, and young Nezot Tirasse sealed it late, gliding through for two-nil.
BOBOne bright spot for the little guys: that Treeman PICKED UP a teammate and HURLED him downfield. Beautiful. Didn't work. Still beautiful. More teams should throw their own players.
JIMAnd Star Player of the Match: MVP to Gracien De Cobie, the Bretonnian Thrower! Cool as you like in the sunshine, threading passes all afternoon!
BOBA passer winning MVP. In MY day you earned that star by removing a spine. Soft league, Jim. Soft league.
JIMHa! That's all from a suspiciously sunny Regulatory Bowl. For Bob Bifford, I'm Jim Johnson. Remember folks, if you can't beat 'em, EAT 'em. Goodnight!
Scoring & SPP
| Player | Events | SPP |
|---|---|---|
| #5 Gracien De Cobie (Thrower) | MVP, 2 completions | +6 |
| #4 Nezot Tirasse (Catcher) | Touchdown (2–0) | +3 |
| #2 Amynta (Grail Knight) | Touchdown (1–0) | +3 |
| #6 Rogerin D'Armignac (Thrower) | 2 completions | +2 |
| #3 Alison De Belloy (Catcher) | Casualty (Badly Hurt their Catcher) | +2 |
The infirmary
- None worth mending. The apothecary had the day off.
Credit where it's due
- The Treeman, for launching a teammate downfield. It didn't work. It was still beautiful.
Match facts
- Winnings
- +55,000 gp
- Dedicated Fans
- +1
- Inducements faced
- Master Chef, Bloodweiser Keg