A wet ball, a Sure Hands knight who couldn't pick it up, and Kor The Cunning running a stretcher clinic.
On air Cabalvision match report
With Jim Johnson and Bob Bifford
JIMGood evening, Blood Bowl fans, and bring a poncho, because the heavens have opened over the pitch tonight! The Bretonnian Holy Hand Grenadiers ride out against the Monarchia Marauders of the Chaos Chosen, and Bob, that ball is slick.
BOBSlick? Jim, that ball's a greased piglet. And speaking of folks who couldn't hold onto it, somebody hand the MVP trophy to Rogerin D'Armignac, the only knight who could throw the wet thing but apparently not pick it up!
JIMIt's true. Three gorgeous completions through the downpour, a well-earned MVP... and yet twice we watched him whiff the pickup with his Sure Hands re-roll, and once after burning a team re-roll on top of it!
BOBHA! Sure Hands? SURE BUTTER Hands! I've seen goblins field a wet ball cleaner than that. Give the man a towel and a prayer to Nuffle.
JIMBut the real story lived on the other side of the ball. Kor The Cunning...
BOBKOR! Oh, he dressed for the weather, everybody else's weather being "horizontal." Knight down. Squire down. Another knight down. The man ran a clinic, Jim. I lost count somewhere around the fourth stretcher.
JIMA savage afternoon for the Grenadier medics. Erebus Blazeflare punched in the opener, Citizen Snips doubled it late, and by the final drive Coach Jim T had just four players left standing on the pitch.
BOBFour! You could row the survivors home in a dinghy! And even the referee had seen enough of the Marauders: Shag Rug and one of their rent-a-Beastmen sent to the showers for fouling. When Chaos gets ejected for being too dirty, friend, it got ugly.
JIMTo the Grenadiers' credit, they never cracked. Held it to 0–2, well clear of the mercy rule.
BOBAnd THEN, final play of the match, ball's dead, clock's spent, Guffle Pusmaw cracks that Monstrous Mouth and takes a Quick Bite. Not for the ball. Not for position. Just to say hello to Coach Jim on the way out the door!
JIMPure theatre. A rough one for the Holy Hand Grenadiers, but Rogerin rides off with the MVP, a shiny new Leader skill, and a full roster to lick its wounds. They live to ride another day.
BOBRide, limp, potato, po-tah-to. See you Matchday 3, fans. Bring the mop!
Scoring & SPP
| Player | Events | SPP |
|---|---|---|
| #6 Rogerin D'Armignac (Thrower) | 3 completions, MVP | +7 |
| Rest of the squad | No completions, no casualties. Just a long walk to the dugout. | 0 |
⭐ Rogerin D'Armignac learns Leader, his first earned skill.
The infirmary
- Diemut Reitz (#11): Niggling Injury, sat out Matchday 3
- Badly Hurt, all back for the next match: Alejandra, Amynta, Alison, Nezot, Kunigunde, Miltrud
Credit where it's due
- Kor The Cunning, a one-man casualty ward
- Erebus Blazeflare and Citizen Snips with the touchdowns
- MVP Secondfloor Basement, a Journeyman, just to twist the knife
- Shag Rug and a Journeyman both sent off for fouling
Match facts
- Winnings
- +45,000 gp
- Inducements faced
- 3× Temp Agency Cheerleader, ★ Guffle Pusmaw, plus 3 Journeyman Beastmen